To the Christian Introvert (Part 3): Combatting Shyness

People ask all the time, what would you do if you couldn’t fail. Well to all of my shy ones out there:

What would you do if you weren’t shy?

If thoughts of your appearance, actions, mistakes never crossed your mind when you’re out doing whatever you wish to do in public/with others?

Well let’s find out.

Now I’m not saying this post is going to eliminate all of your social fear. But what can happen is with God’s grace, your effort, and this knowledge, you could grow less shy. I believe that.

On this blog I’d like to really focus on you and give you my support. I will not be talking about my big dread actually. And, I’m trying out a couple different things, and this week that means a shorter blog post! (Be sure to tell me which you enjoy/prefer more in the comments!)

This post is the third and last part of the series: To the Christian Introvert. If you’d like to see how this relates to fulfilling your potential (part 1) and embrace your introversion (part 2) feel free to check them out and come back to this later! So let’s get started with the meat of this post: how to combat shyness.

Find Your Why & Set a Social Goal

The first thing we’ll do here is get those basics down. It’s tempting to dive right into making changes, but if you don’t set find your why and set your goal? That change won’t last.

Grow In Levels 

Don’t throw yourself into the deep end! Here are three ways you can slowly progress in a way that builds your confidence in your abilities:  

  1. Be less shy online. But be careful with what you share! There’s this weird tendency that I’m sure all of us fall into of wanting to overshare to be vulnerable, and that’s not always healthy.
  2. Be less shy with things you are passionate about/ really good at. 
  3. Be less shy with your family by addressing hard topics/ the things you hide (mega kudos to you for when you reach this!)

Stick With It

Now that you know your why and have set your goals, here are some ways to stick with it!

  1. Imagine what life would be like if you were this limited by shyness forever. Honestly we consider the fear of change so much, but do we ever stop to consider the fear of not changing?
  2. Be graceful and patient with yourself and your journey. Throughout this whole growth process you need to understand that your core identity can never change! Yes you have characteristics and attributes but your core worth and identity, that important stuff on the inside? That won’t change no matter how good or bad you are at socializing. When you really internalize this it will show in the way you think and react to both successes and failures. 
  3. Make it a part of who you are. Start seeing yourself as someone who socializes more. Cynthia doesn’t this contradict what you just said? Nope! When I say “a part of who you are” I mean make it a part of you that is outside your core identity. See “socializer” (or any word of your choice that you actually aspire to be) as an outer attribute/characteristic of yours, not the inner part.
  4. Get an accountability partner. With this you have two options: one that is very socially adequate and can also act as a coach, or one that struggles on about the same level as you and might understand your struggle more deeply. Either way, your accountability partner should preferably understand how hard/easy it is for you to socialize and how big of a deal this is to you!
  5. Celebrate all your wins! It’s so easy to move right to the next goal but go tell a loved one what you did, or take some time to just be glad that you did what you did. 

And that about wraps up our To The Christian Introvert series, woohoo! Let me know in the comments what you thought of this series! Which part was your favorite? What did you get out of it?

– Cynthia 

As always, feel free to email me at achinty.creates@gmail.com if you’d like an accountability partner or if you’d like to talk about shyness/ introversion/ really anything.  : )

2 Comments

  1. *applauds* Excellent work on this series, Cynthia!!
    I found your 6th tip interesting. Even though I’m terribly introverted, I’m pretty “outgoing” (at least compared to my siblings—even the extroverted ones XD). Changing my point of view can be very helpful. =)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank youuu 🙂
    I’m so glad you took the time to read it and I hope it helps!
    Oooh that’s pretty unique. How did you discover that you were an introvert then?
    And for the change of view, it’s a spectrum! It can be over or under done. It’s definitely something I’ve been experimenting with in my own life though 🙂

    Like

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